Made for Each Other

 

People who haven't connected with me since college may be shocked to hear that I built my house with my bare hands.  I have always been more into the life of the mind and the Spirit - filled with Scripture, books and prayer - than I have been into the things of the physical world.  But, yes, it is true, me and my dad built much of my house with our bare hands in a process that took around two and a half years.  I learned many lessons during this time, things like perseverance and how taking 20 minutes to plan something out has the potential to save you 4 hours worth of extra work.

But I also learned a lot about tools.  When we first started our project, I didn't know what an anchor bolt was or even how to hold a hammer, but over time I learned these things and found a lesson that applies to our lives.

The lesson is this: Purpose is understood by Design.

This truth is borne out when looking at tools.  A screwdriver or a drill is designed to work with screws.  With its flat or Phillips head and its easy-to-grip handle it is perfectly made to fasten screws.  And at the same time the screwdriver is not designed to hammer in nails.  Should I decide that I want to use this tool to pound in nails then I would quickly find that it makes the task very difficult.  Over time, if I hone my ability to aim and strengthen the dexterity of my wrist, then maybe I would be able to pound nails in with a screwdriver, but it would never compare to a hammer.

And why is that? 

It’s because a screwdriver wasn't made to pound in nails.

To use a screwdriver in this way is to use it in a way that it wasn't designed and will lead to futility and frustration.  Failure to recognize design and acknowledge purpose will ultimately lead to this.

Men and Women were Made for Each Other

While the consummate question that has faced mankind may be "why are we here" the truth that everyone in all places and at all times has agreed on is the reality that we are in fact "here" and that we have been made in a certain way.  Or to return to the metaphor, while we may not agree on "who made the tools", we still recognize that a hammer is different from a screwdriver and that hammers were made for nails and screwdrivers for screws.

This is true about men and women.  All one has to do is take a very brief biological/sociological look at the difference between men and women in order to find that we were made for each other.  This is true when you consider how human beings come into the world - which is through the sexual intercourse of a man and a woman - and remains true if you take the admittedly awkward path of examining the sexual organs of men and women themselves and notice that the nerves that emit pleasure are perfectly located for the consummative act of love between a man and a woman.

Deeper dives into psychology reveal that people long for the connections that come from having a family and children benefit greatly from knowing both of their parents, as it helps them to form a sense of identity and purpose.

All of this is an important introduction for understanding what the Bible teaches about sexuality.  Rather than the oft-repeated trope that labels Scripture's teaching on sex and family as "oppressive", the opposite is actually true.  Which is that the Bible presents a sure path to happiness specifically spelled out by the Designer of men and women, which, when followed, enables us to live according to our Purpose and will result in an overall sense of satisfaction with our lives.

This carefully-designed path understands that sex is an incredibly consequential act that should be reserved only for those who are committed to one another. As such God created sex to be enjoyed in the context of the lifelong marriage between one man and one woman. All sex outside of this is sin which includes adultery, fornication, homosexuality and polyamory.

God set the boundaries of sexual morality so that individuals would grow old with connections to this world in the form of the children who will outlive them, men and women would have the sense of security that comes from life-long commitments and so that children would have the self-belief and identity that comes from growing up in a loving family.

It’s important to acknowledge that there are those who do not prescribe to this model and want to be free to live their own way. And while I disagree with their approach, I also feel it’s important to state that I believe in the freedom to choose your own path in life. Furthermore I also believe it’s important to be tolerant and kind to those who have different beliefs.  Tolerance and kindness – which I understand to be a part of the Biblical mandate to love your neighbor (Matthew 22:39) – helps to break ourselves out of our echo chambers and to experience the life enrichment that comes from connecting with many different types of people.

Better than Gold and Silver

But while I believe in being friends with people who see the world differently than me, I am still absolutely persuaded that God’s ways will leave us healthier and happier.  King David said something along these lines in Psalm 119:72, stating that God’s Law is “better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces.”

In the past I read this verse thinking about the peace I feel when I read the Bible.  Anyone who comes to the Word of God with a humble and hungry heart would testify to the way that God always meets them when they open up this Book of all books.  But while Holy Spirit loves to meet us when we read the Book He inspired, I don’t think that’s what is meant by this phrase.

What I think David meant when he penned this phrase is that the Law of God is good.  It was created by God for our good and when it is followed it will result in a full and abundant life.  As such to discover what the Law of God teaches is to find something that is more valuable than tons of money.

Money is, and has always been, desirable because it represents security and brings with it all the accoutrements of ease.  Having lots of money means you don’t have to worry about the basics of survival and can buy things and go places that you think you will enjoy.  David doesn’t dispute this (how could he) but rather uses the desirability of money as a reference point to explain how valuable it is to know and follow God’s ways. 

Living the way God designed you to live is worth more than piles of cash. And recognizing that you, the screwdriver, were made for screws and not to hammer nails, will save you loads of futility and frustration that even money couldn’t alleviate.

 

May You cause us to fall in love again with Your Law oh God. Amen.