The Monastery of Parenting

When a man or woman joins a monastery they are submitting themselves to a set of rules and routines that will assist in their denial of self and mortification of their flesh.  This will include times of prayer, study of the Word and times of labor.  I've recently been envious of those who are able to spend extended time daily in prayer and the Word.  Before I had children I was able to do this but now that I have little ones who depend on me I am no longer able to devote extended hours to prayer and study.  I still pray and read the Word - they remain the great devotions of my inner life - but its not as extended of a time as it used to be.

So while the prolonged pursuit of God that is enabled by the abundance of time is a benefit of singleness there are also spiritual benefits to being married and raising children.  For starters the God-honoring approach to marriage is an exercise in selflessness.  A husband who loves and fears God will love his wife in the same way that he loves his own flesh (Ephesians 5:28), will be gentle with her (Colossians 3:19) and will respect and honor her as a co-heir of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).  Its easy to see that to please the Lord through one's conduct towards his wife is a call for the man to deny himself as he gives consideration to the welfare of his spouse.

The Responsibilities of the Christian Parent

Parenting is the same though in some ways the call to self-denial is even more heightened.  Whereas a man's wife is an adult and can take care of herself a child is in regular need of our care.  Children depend on their parents for survival, sustenance and guidance.  While those responsibilities are obvious to anybody who considers the role of a parent they are still invitations by God to a rule of life - similar to that of a monastery - that can aid us in drawing closer to Him.

Parents are called to do all that is within the bounds of righteousness to provide for their children¹ (1 Timothy 5:8).  This obviously means holding a job as a means of creating income but would also refer to wisely stewarding our money to prepare for the unexpected² so that we aren't put into financial ruin by a string of unfortunate circumstances.  We are also called to protect our children from danger.  This of course refers to natural dangers like speeding cars and power tools but also refers to spiritual dangers like false ideologies, sin and deception.  The parent who truly seeks to raise up a child in the way that he should go (Proverbs 22:6) will seek to prevent their children from facing something in its full brunt at too early of an age.

Every parent recognizes that eventually our children will be out on their own and will have to deal with whatever aspect of the world they are confronted with.  Understanding this we see that teaching our children how to handle the temptations and perspectives of an unchristian world is wise.  I haven't actually done this so I can't speak to how it is done but I would imagine that it is similar to that of a vaccine.  Where we talk to our kids about the possible stumbling blocks that exist in the world and help them navigate them.  Then having already been exposed to these in small doses they will be able to handle them later on as they encounter them on their own.

Stay Close, Stay Low, Stay in Love

Obviously to engage in the act of parenting is to venture into the unknown.  We recognize that the whole world lays under the influential sway of the evil one (1 John 5:19) and that in raising our children to embrace Christ and His values that we are forging against the current of an unchristian cultural river.  As such to be a God-fearing parent is to embrace a deep need for God's guidance and help.  Heidi Baker, a missionary in Mozambique, once said that the key to Christianity was to "stay close, stay low and stay in love" indicating that the pursuit of God's Presence, humility and keeping our passion for God burning are the three factors in a believer who lasts the long haul and such is true of the call to be a parent.

So if a monastery involves embracing a way of life that facilitates closeness to God then the "monastery of parenting" is similar.  For when you join a monastery you embrace a routine that consists of seeking God and natural work and the same is true when you become a God-fearing parent.  May whatever role you find yourself in right now in your life be one that you embrace and find how to honor God in walking it out.

Help us to stay close, stay low and stay in love with You oh Lord.  Amen.

¹I say "all that is within the bounds of righteousness" here because I acknowledge that there are situations that some may find themselves in where they have to choose between identifying with Christ or losing their means of making an income.  I pray that should this happen to me that God would give me the courage to stand with Him and that should I suffer loss I pray that He gives me the strength to trust that He will provide for my family even if I find myself not being able to due to being faithful to Him.  I would also say that it should be the responsibility of the Church to find those who suffer loss for their stands for the Gospel and seek to help their family's needs be met.  I believe that God cares very deeply about this.

²Obviously this is within reason as well.  I think we all recognize that no matter how much discretion we exercise in our finances that circumstances can come that put us in a place where we have to trust God for provision that would be outside of our normal means for income.  If this happens to me I pray that God gives me the faith to trust Him in the middle of it.